Are you alone, floating out here in space like me? It’s understandable. The view is nice, you have your own oxygen tank, and all the time in the world to do what you love. What about your family down on earth? Well, you’ll get back to them. But being out in space isn’t an everyday opportunity, so in the meantime you have other things to focus on.
When at college, It’s easy to think of myself as existing in a vacuum, disconnected from the wider world. I think that if I can withstand the pressure and make friends with the silence, I can prove my capability and independence. I may even find some comfort in isolation. With no ties, my mistakes cannot affect anyone but me. I have the time I always wanted to focus on myself and achieve my goals without others complicating things. In the words of Emily Bronte,
“I’m happiest when most away
I can bear my soul from its home of clay
On a windy night when the moon is bright
And the eye can wander through worlds of light –
When I am not and none beside –
Nor earth nor sea nor cloudless sky –
But only spirit wandering wide
Through infinite immensity.”
After all, relationships can be a hindrance. I am forced to limit my behaviors and challenge my beliefs to maintain relationships with family and friends. My family was given to me by God; I didn’t choose them as I chose my friends. Because of this, they may be hard to understand and agree with.
I am currently over 1000 miles away from my family. Do I still have family ties? Or do I exist in a vacuum? I tell people back home about my experiences, I share with them my thoughts of the future, and afterwards they do the same. But when I turn my phone off and look around, I find no argument against my isolation. The need for family and friends is not always readily apparent. I have conversations with loved ones far away, yet true connection remains elusive and out of reach. Even the idea of genuine connection fades away, and I retreat into the comfort of solitude.
Without community, my goals become entirely self-focused. I sacrifice time with others to put myself on the fast track and achieve a sense of pride and a positive self-image. I work as efficiently as possible and minimize interruptions. I create a quiet space for concentration until only my own voice remains in my mind. I achieve everything I want to by removing all hindrances.
But there is a beauty that comes in hindrance. My own goals, though they are important to my development as a person, are at times faulty and in need of critique. When intertwined with community instead, my goals can be criticized and my ambition can be leveled, directed instead to be most beneficial to the most people. I can realize my shortcomings and ask for help where I need it. Though there is a time for solitude and meditation, it should be more than just time for myself. It should always deepen my ability to have genuine relationship with my community and with God.
This way of thinking will be uncomfortable, and it will be a hindrance. Love is a hindrance. But love is also much more than a hindrance. Love will give you new horizons, true freedom, and an ambition for what matters most if you accept this baseline responsibility. Paul tells us in Galatians 6:2 to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way [we] will fulfill the law of Christ.” To do this, we must bring our burdens to other people in the first place. If we live isolated lives, comforted by the idea that our mistakes will not affect other people, we will also see no reason to share them with other people. The isolated mind, even when given the opportunity to connect with others, will hide its faults and instead show the world the carefully sifted version of itself it has been creating in its solitude. Though you may believe life will be easier and more worthwhile if you avoid relational ties, you will soon find that “Happiness [is] only real when shared.” (Jon Krakauer, Into The Wild)
Are you floating in space? Maybe so. But understand that your physical isolation has no bearing on your call to community, and that your goals, however disconnected from your family they may seem, are ultimately given value because of them.
